All the Single Ladies... Please Stand Up!!!

Yes, I would be standing!

Haha, There I said it... I am single!

Okay, it is not a very drastic statement, and I know most of you do know that!  But recently, the SINGLENESS of life has been coming up more and more!

I was at dinner with a few girlfriends during the holidays, and everyone at the table was not married.  Different stages of singleness, but all single ladies.  A comment was made before dinner, during red wine time, over laughter, and dating conversations, about it being "hard to Find a good man"... You know, a man who loves the Lord and wants that to be the center of a dating relationship.  A man who takes his faith seriously, and has that faith significantly impact his life.

For some reason I had a rapid response to this statement.  I am still not quite sure why, but I responded and said, "I don't think our job is to FIND a good man!"  

It was like a knee jerk reaction to a statement I have heard before... A statement I have probably said before!

I don't know why I responded so quickly, and I am not sure why that was my initial reaction.  See, I get where my friend was coming from!  And I think I could have said the same statement.  It does feel like that.  The real men are hard to find.  Or just plain aren't being found by me.  I'm still not quite sure?

It got me thinking... why would that bother me?  Why does that statement make me resistant so quickly?  Almost like I am physically pushing back against something that was put onto me.  Like I am playing hide and seek with a future spouse, but apparently I am HORRIBLE at finding said person!

It makes me think... Am I bad at finding a spouse?  Have I not been looking in the right spots?  Is my criteria is too high?  Do I need to change before someone can be found?

This sent me into a spiral of thoughts... and here is the place I have recently landed.  See, I don't know if as a single person my job is to FIND someone, or be on the hunt for someone!

If God is sovereign in ALL things, and for ALL things, then my God is sovereign in this too.  I mean truly.  I am not defective, or broken.  I don't matter less, or have a different value because I have had the same last name for 31 years.  

Brutal Truth... I would love to be in a relationship, and I think I would absolutely love being married.  I would cherish the opportunity to share life with someone (and have someone else take the dogs for a walk with me!!!).  BUT I know my God is in control of THAT!  See, I am not on a "finding" a man mission.  And to be honest, I don't want to put myself out there... Not like that.  Standing at a corner bar or lurking at a singles group for someone that looks like he might follow Jesus, loves laughing and dogs, and wants to know my name!

Here is what I believe today... My "finding mission" is to SEEK the Lord.  To FIND WHO I am in Christ alone.  My search is for the peace of Christ, more of the LOVE of Jesus, and to be FULLY commited to the Will of God!  It is in that... and that alone... where I WILL be FOUND.  For my life, my soul, for the very longing of being loved and known... If I search for that, if I am rooted in that... THEN married or not I am complete and enough in Jesus!

It is exhausting to think that searching for a good man is my responsibility!  AND really I don't want that to be on my list of things to do.  My search is to LOVE the Lord, and TRUST the Lord.  And in the midst of everything, to be dependent on the Lord.  Because my heart, being fully committed, will trust God when He does show up!  (Which just so we are clear Lord, he can show up anytime now!) Haha!

But to be honest... I love my life today.  Yes, there are some things I wish I could change.  BUT If you have been around me for any length of time in the last 4-5 months there is utter JOY in what I am honored and humbled to do each day!  IT is celebrating the simple joys of my life.  Tonight, I can drink red wine and eat popcorn for dinner if I want!  Haha, and I do!  AND my biggest hearts cry for all the other Single Ladies, who are standing, is that we would not settle.  We would not compromise.  We would hope in the Lord, who KNOWS the desires of our hearts!  I have seen amazing marriages and really hard ones.  Not to say the hard ones have settled, but I know that I will not be blissfully happy forever when he, "puts a ring on it!"  Life does not seem to work that way, and it appears marriage does not either!  I will ALWAYS need my God, and so in this season of my life who better to search after, know more intimately, and seek then God alone!  

There is NOTHING that is too BIG for my God, and that does not mean that being single is AWESOME every single day, but from my married friends I have heard the same is true for them.  I want to know that when the Lord does put an "us"  together for me... I am fully alive in Jesus, and not in the title of girlfriend or wife.  I want my self worth, value, and deepest knowing and longing to be for Christ alone!  That is hard enough for each day!  

I will keep my eyes, and my heart open for who God is placing in my path.  However, I do refuse the idea that if I muster up more courage or seeking of a potential boyfriend, that God will reward that searching.  IF the God of the Universe knows every single hair on my head... which is quite a few for me... then the God of Universe is in charge of this too!!!  It does not mean I can't be bold or courageous, but it does mean my singleness does not hinge on my ability to find someone or my control to "make things happen!"  

YOU my dear friends... Mrs., Ms., or Miss, have not been forgotten.  We each have such value and worth in Christ... be deeply committed to knowing and seeking that each day!!!

Well, that might be enough truth for today.

Single or married, my prayer for all of us is this: that we would search for the Lord, and find our value and place in Him! 


"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows" Luke 12:6-7