You might call me a crazy dog lady.
You could in fact be right about that depending on your definition.
My definition changed when my Mom and I went to a dog show in January, and I realized there is a whole other level of dog ownership when it comes to the dog show world! If you see me purchase a blazer, and practice running circles at a slow, controlled pace, you know I am entering this new level of dog mom commitment.
I have had a big week with the Doodle Dogs.
Last Monday morning Mason had a fatty tumor removed on this stomach, and had his teeth cleaned (they thought one tooth was fractured, but it turned out to be fairly small and he was able to keep his tooth).
Dropping him off on Monday morning I cried. I worried. I asked questions. I prayed.
But I trusted.
And even last night at the Emergency Vet, I trusted. Tears... yes. But Trust.
Sweet surrender to the one I trust.
Mason's stitches had popped open yesterday evening. I panicked, but I have some of the best friends in the whole world. So while I got things ready to go, thinking the worst, they bandaged him, and put a tshirt on the pup! I called my mom on the way there... she has a way of hearing me that is good for my heart to calm down and take a breath.
We got to the Emergency Vet, and while we waited in our room, I whispered in his ear he was brave. He looked up with his big brown eyes, and I told him I was there. I asked more questions than I am sure the nurse wanted to answer. I mean stitches are already so gross, but stitches that pop open are a whole other level of messy. Gaaaross!
As I sat on the floor with my Big Hearted Doodle Dog, I realized I hate not knowing. I hate not having answers. I don't know how to help. And with dogs, you almost always just don't know. How does he feel? What does he need?
The song that came to my mind sitting on that floor was one of the first songs I learned in Young Life Campaigners when I was in high school. I sang in our room, "Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary..." And from what I remembered we would add another part to the end and would sing, "We Exalt You." Just repeating that phrase. When I got to that part, my eyes welled with tears. Now I am sure if you were anywhere close to our room you would know my singing was not good! Haha, I am not a singer, but I just sat and sang. Here is what I know as I have thought about that today...
1. The truth I learned when I first started to follow Jesus is STILL truth! In so many ways I have matured in my faith, thanks be to God, but in so many ways I am still the same 16 year old. "Lord, prepare me to be a Sanctuary" is a strange song to start singing sitting on the floor of an Emergency Vet, but I remember I loved that song. I love the image of God making me into what He wants. Lord prepare me to be a dwelling place for you. You are with me. I am hidden in Christ, in the shadow of your mighty wings. Tried and True. These truths will never grow old. Foundation. Truth. I still cling to that promise.
"He who takes refuge in the shelter of the Most High
will be safe in the shadow of the Almighty."
2. God is mysterious, and sometimes that is scary, but He is ALWAYS good! I will be SAFE with Him. There is comfort and peace when my heart begins to break. When I want to know, and don't have answers. He is good. He is always good. AND He has answers. He knows.
3. I want to exalt the Lord when it does not make sense! He dwells where He is welcomed. I want to exalt the Lord, welcome Him, and sit with God! That my posture would always be to welcome the Lord with total surrender and praise! Even in the midst of hard situations. My soul would exalt the Lord in all ways, at all times... because He is control and I can trust that.
For many of you today I would imagine there are many more things that are keeping you up at night. There is much more that is worrying you. That weighs heavy on you. There is much more that feels messy and gross.
Lets go to the throne of grace and mercy together. Lets approach our God with awe, wonder, and total trust! He is Good. He is Loving. He is with us. And remembers us.
I want to hear it will be okay, and I want to know. But more than anything I want to trust God with what I treasure knowing He Is Good... even if it feels messy.
"God, you are my God.
I celebrate you. I praise you.
You’ve done your share of miracle-wonders,
well-thought-out plans, solid and sure."