Hello, I am Back!!!
(Haha, That was for You Brad!!!)
Somewhere along the way I stopped breathing. I don't know when it started, but trust me it happened. I don't even think I was aware of my non-breathing. Well, that was until I went to my first Yoga class.
About a month ago I was invited with our Regional Young Life Women to go to Yoga. I knew the day would be oh so fun with these friends... And I was fairly certain I would laugh out loud trying to do the different poses. Okay, I KNEW I would laugh. And I would fight the laughter because Yogi's don't laugh which means I would laugh ALL the MORE... See the issue?! And I was fairly certain this would be the case because my friends Annie and Lindsey tried to show me how to do Yoga one time, and it was mainly just me giggling and watching them!
So, I got my outfit together... a key step... and felt pretty confident that I was as bendy as I was in High School as a cheerleader. I mean, I can still do the splits so that should help at some point during the Yoga experience, Haha! I even looked through my cheer photos to bolster my confidence... Truth!
Well, laugh I did... Especially during Happy Baby Pose... It's the Best! I can't believe that is something someone is asking me to do... Look it up! It's Amazing!
But something unexpected happened. I breathed. I mean like really started breathing.
Now, I know I am breathing every day, but honestly there is more swirling in my head than I care to admit. My friend Emily told me during a conversation that even her thinking of how much MY brain is thinking, going all the time, makes her tired. Haha, Whoops! Mental hula hoops is my specialty!
But the invitation that day at the Yoga Studio was to notice our breath. That is the very first thing, sit and breathe... And notice I did.
I don't know when I stopped noticing, but it had been awhile. A long while.
I got busy. I got nervous. I got uncertain. I got scared. I got consumed. I got going. I got moving, and didn't look back.
I stopped noticing. I stopped being. I stopped breathing. I stopped checking in. I simply stopped.
It felt effortless to stop because I was clearly still breathing, but stop I had. Stop I did. I had stopped breathing, stopped noticing, stopped reminding... Very simply stopped.
And instead of breathing, I was inhaling. Without even thinking! It felt like breathing, but it was very different!
The invitation to breathe was like a fresh offering for my soul, my heart, my head, my body. Like someone was ushering in a parade of confetti, balloons, fresh cut flowers, Christmas morning, and doodle dogs in each sweet, small breath... All my favorite things in one very simple breath.
Sit, Breathe. Pay attention to the Breath.
Then, during the whole Yoga class the invitation was not to compare to the people next to me, to master Yoga, but to be with my breath. And for me to be with the Lord in my breath.
Simply my breath and me. For ONE hour I got to breathe, to stretch, to find strength, to BREATHE even deeper, and to Move WITH my breath! Ohhhhhh LORD what is this magical Yoga???!!!
And so NOW... Friends, I am into it! I am really into it! Haha!!! AND I'm breathing again.
And I'm not good at it. And I laugh at myself when the instructor tells us to lift our left leg back, and then with one solid motion plant the left foot for Warrior 1. I can't do it yet, I stumble, shift my foot... It takes me like 5 steps! Haha, but every time I giggle, I breathe, and I feel such a passionate gratitude. I am with my breath. My breath and me... Me and the breath the Lord is giving me to me! Giggles, Warrior 2, Downward Dog... All while breathing!
Friends, I want to breathe. I don't want to inhale all that is around me... I want to breathe.
I want to breathe again.
And not just at yoga, I want to breathe deeply during the day. To acknowledge the Lord's presence in my breath yes, but also in my very life. To know that during the day, while I am moving, going, working I am also WITH the very one who is GIVING me life! Offering me this breath.
How is it with you today? How is your breathing? What are you merely inhaling? Have you stopped to breathe deeply the truth of WHO you are? That our God is giving you the VERY life you are living, the very breath you are breathing... Breathe in today your value, your worth, your goodness is FROM Him! That while we are busy, experiencing loss, challenges, uncertainty, pain, we are also breathing in HIS Goodness, His Presence, His Life! Our very Breath is His!!!
Has it gotten overwhelming? Are your mental hula hoops taking over? Stop. Sit. Breathe. Maybe do Happy Baby Pose... OR just lay flat on the floor... FOR REAL a Yoga Move!!! Haha! I'm telling YOU, I love it!
It feels good to breathe again, but more than that it feels good to be firmly planted in Him. In His grace, His goodness, His unending love, His presence... It feels sweet to be WITH Him in my breath! AND to know I don't have to hold it all or inhale it all.
I am breathing again... I don't have to figure it out, IF my very breath is His how much more is my God in control of ALL things! How much more is He ever gently WITH me, FOR me, and SEEING me. My breath is His, my life is His!
So, to you dear friends I say, "Namaste"... Or under my breath I always say, "Amen!" Haha, but don't tell my Yogi Friends!!!